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A Scorpio Isn’t Much of a Scorpion Anymore

Much has been made about the realigning of the stars that subsequently realigned the dates and signs of the zodiac calendar.  Those, who for years held true to the character traits of their sign, are having to brush up on their new identity with its associated character strengths and weaknesses.

Me?  I was a Gemini.  I was energetic, clever and witty.  Unfortunately I was also restless and indecisive.  But now I’m a Taurus.  Now I’m loyal, patient and generous.  And apparently now I’m stubborn and possessive.  For me, the worst part about being a Taurus is now I’m labeled after a car.  A Ford car!

…Oh great! I guess guess Taurus people are also materialistic.  It’s already starting to come true.  But really! Why couldn’t I be associated with a BMW…or an Audi?!

Speaking of, has anyone taken a closer look at Scorpio?  On the old calendar, Scorpios were from Oct. 24 to Nov. 22.  Now they are only between Nov. 23 to Nov. 29.  They went from having a full 4-week run down to only 1 week.  And Scorpios were the only ones to get whittled down to a measly run of single digit days.  Everyone else has at least 3 weeks.

Scorpio Constellation (courtesy: windows2universe.org)

So just who are the Scorpios in the room, and how do they now apply to their 6-day reign?

A strength among Scorpios is being observant.  Well I’ll agree with that.  How can you NOT notice that you’re now only relevant for a whopping 6 days?!  An actual scorpion has more legs than that.

Weaknesses?  Jealous and obsessive.  Sure!  Feed the fire why don’t ya?

Scorpios are known have excellent memory, coupled with the inability to just let things go.  In other words, they neither forgive or forget….Great!  It is also advised to just be honest and open with Scorpios.  Don’t take them for a ride.  I can just see how this conversation would unfold…

“Alright, good meeting everybody! We’ll do it again next millennium.  Oh hey, by the way, Scorpio, since we had to make room for Ophiuchus, we’re dividing up your weeks and giving them to Virgo and Libra.”

Scorpio: “Excuse me!  Who? Ophiuchus? Who in the universe is that? I’ve never heard of him. Or her. Or whatever it is!”

“You’ll be getting a few days from Sagittarius.  And just so you’re not caught off guards, it’s literally only a few days. Six to be exact.”

Scorpio: “Wait, I’ve been doing this for centuries.  Same corner office, and now you’re sticking me in the cubicle next to the restrooms?”

“Sorry big fella.  Times are tough.  We’ve all be taking pay cuts.  It’s this wretched economy.  Just think of all those other stars out there that don’t even have a job.  No constellation to be apart of.  I hear they’re even selling themselves out to be renamed for human loved-ones.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  But don’t worry, your job is safe.  We just need to bunker down and keep things moving in the right direction until things pick back up.  The universe is always expanding, so it shouldn’t be too long.”

Scorpio: “Yeah, I guess I can understand, but…”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to forget your sacrifice on this one.  I tried to get you next an American holiday.  You should be able to host Thanksgiving every other year or so.  Sagittarius got Christmas.  It’s in his contract.  I got you the next best thing.”

Bringing up the calendar change would be like rubbing salt in an open wound, so be mindful when talking to any Scorpios.  Their pride might be a little hurt and they might be trying to figure out where they fit back in.  Anything less and they’d be equated to leap year.

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